I hesitate to tell this story. Sometimes.

It’s intensely personal and precious to me. But, I know these three words have power. So I want to share that with you now.

The story behind my "I am enough" jewelry design is this.... 

In the early 1990's my brother didn’t have long to live.

He wanted to gift us a trip, so flew my two young daughters and I to Disney World before he got too sick to do anything.

Tony was the most gentle, kind, empathetic human being I've ever met. I was sooooo lucky to have him for a big brother.

DisneyWorld was PACKED … lots and lots of lines. While we were standing in line for one of the rides, he grabbed my arm and really dramatically loudly said "Look at that shirt, LOOK AT IT!" 

If you knew my brother, you would know he's not dramatically annnnyyything. He was quiet and pretty reserved.

So, he got my attention and rightly so.

I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, so he kept pointing til I saw it…some random guy off in the distance was wearing a shirt with "I am enough" printed on it in big letters. 

I didn’t get it. Honestly, it didn’t park in my brain for any reason. But the way he got so excited, will never leave me.

Because, it rarely happened that he was THAT animated and excited.

Which is probably why I remember the block letters and white shirt so well. That, and the sensation of Tony grabbing my arm.

This impacted my brother in such a way, that for the next few months he was always bringing the saying “I am enough” up. He wouldn’t stop telling me how much worth I had. And how the shirt had helped him some by just repeating those 3 little words. 

Here we had flown from San Francisco to Orlando, Florida with these two precious little girls, rode all the rides, ate all the foods and seen all there was til the place closed. But that T-shirt is all he kept talking about.

I. Am. Enough. 

For whatever reason I didn't put that much stock into what he was going on and on about, but as the years went on, especially after he passed - it became very clear how important and how ... life changing those three words could be, if one were to repeat it over and over and perhaps believe it for themselves. I know I didn’t, couldn’t, believe.

You know those things that people try to impart before they leave us?

This was one of those things.

My brother tried to instill in me with every fiber of his last living being, that this message was meant for everyone on the planet but made it his mission to make sure i KNEW I was enough. That’s my big brother in a nutshell. Giving. Always giving.

There is a saying...  "We see when we can see, and,  we hear when we can hear" and when I finally "heard" the message my brother was trying to pass along, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Holy bleep it was powerful.

I FINALLY understood his excitement when he yelled "LOOK AT THAT SHIRT" ... at last. I smile when I remember this. I cry when I remember this. I get it, Tony! I get it!

It’s so simple and yet so profound. It has many levels and layers. but it’s simple at its very core.

I'd been in the mental health field as a professional and volunteer for years. In 2007’ish, when funding for my job dried up, other people were promoted over me and I was asked to take a pay cut, I knew it was time to leave.

I won’t stay where I’m not valued. So I left. And fell into a depression.

My sense of purpose was lost and didn’t even know it. Hence the depression.

One day my husband took me aside and told me to go have some fun, take a class - anything to get me to pull myself out of this “woe is me” funk.

So I took a class. I don’t know how I found it, but there was this tiny little bead store, and they had a class on wire wrapping a cabochon.

I signed up.

The class started and everyone else was chatting away and I just kind of, kept trying to make those stupid wires do the thing the class instructor was telling us to do.

And while we were learning how to wire wrap this cabochon, my classmate pointed at the instructor’s ring and asked “What’s that? It’s gorgeous” - and our teacher took it off and we passed it around.

It was a simple but gorgeous sterling silver spinner ring. I’d never seen anything like it.

While we passed it around and played with it (the outer ring just spun along the outside and never fell off, it was COOL!) she explained it was a spinner ring and she made it in a small metalsmithing class - in another bead store a couple of towns down the way. She said the class didn’t have a prerequisite and she had never picked up a torch until the day of her class and had so much fun.

When that wire wrapping class was over and I came home with my little crappy wrappy cabochon and did this “show and tell” with my husband.

It is really the ugliest thing but I remember being so proud of it. I almost threw it out but my friends convinced me to keep it.

To this day it hangs on the wall in my shop.

To remind me where I started from.

It’s no longer the ugliest thing ever, it’s one of my “precious” possessions.

I felt a spark from the first class, and it started pulling me out of my depression… and led me to the spinner ring making class.

None of us in that class had seen a spinner ring, held a torch or jewelers file or used a jewelers saw but here we were - a bunch of (mostly) middle age women playing with metal ‘smithing tools!

When the class began, I was petrified, but by the time class was over it felt like “home.”

And when that class was done. That was it. I didn’t take any more classes.

But I had found another interest and that interest was all things metal.

So I began making jewelry. The little bead shops near me kept a few things in stock and I was happy to shop local.

I spent that recession making a bit of jewelry and selling it.

Then buying one more tool and a tiny bit more silver. One foot in front of the other.

I honestly don’t know why people bought the jewelry - my early work was so …let’s put it this way, it lacked anything professional. It lacked finesse.

But, God bless y’all that believed in me. Really!

Anyway - the need to “create” had been born and it was a thirsty sucker.

But, I was still restless and still had that "helping people" running through my blood. 

I was putzing around in my studio one day, missing my brother Tony something fierce and the idea to stamp “I am enough” on a spinner ring somehow came to me. I had never seen it done. And for the next 12 years I have happily stamped “I am enough” or some variation on all kinds of jewelry.

To date, I’ve made over 5,000 spinner rings.

Some of them were for “practice” and in copper because, it’s hard to flare out the edges evenly sometimes. And I’ve only taken those two classes in person so I’m considered “self taught” and being self taught, I’ve made lots of mistakes. I was “embracing the suck” waaaay before it was a thing to say!

I sure wish I could say “I SOLD 5,000 spinner rings!”

I can't think of a better way to do several things at once, honor my brother with this wonderful story and his memory - pass along an amazing life affirming message to others, and, have a job that I absolutely love.

I have more hammers and stamps than I have shoes. I get excited when a tool sale comes on. I am surrounded by an amazing metalsmith community!

Most of all, I get to create things that have meaning for others and promote their self esteem.

This gives MY life purpose, so thank YOU for that :)

Spinner rings that have the "I am enough" message on them are great for spinning while repeating the words over and over.

I spin mine all the time. Whenever I'm the “new kid in the room” at an art show (or anywhere for that matter!) or standing in the line at a grocery store (I’m just awkward, mkay?)  

Breathe, spin and believe you’re enough. But you don’t need a ring for that - you can just say it to yourself over and over.

You are enough. I am enough. We're all enough. There's room for everyone at the table :) 

By the way, my makers mark is a hawk. But that’s another story.

You can find my work here on LindaBoBindasDesigns.com or Etsy or Goimagine :)

Now you know! :)